Cheaper by the dozen - Chapter 6: Tough system

Nội dung text: Cheaper by the dozen - Chapter 6: Tough system

1. CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN By Frank Bunker Gilbreth, Jr. “Don’t cry, honey,” he said. “No matter what you think of your old Daddy, he did it for your own good. If you go look under your pillow you’ll find that Daddy really loved CHAPTER 6 you all the time.” Tough System The present was a pair of roller skates. Fred headed the utilities committee and collected the fines. LIKE most of Dad's and Mother's ideas, the Family Council was basically sound and, Once, just before he went to bed, he found that someone had left a faucet dripping and although it verged sometimes on the hysterical, brought results. Family purchasing that there was a bathtub full of hot water. Jack had been asleep for more than an hour, committees, duly elected, bought the food, clothes, furniture, and athletic equipment. A but Fred woke him up. utilities committee levied one-cent fines on wasters of water and electricity. A projects “Get in there and take a bath,” he said, committee saw that work was completed as scheduled. Allowances were decided by the “But I had a bath just before I went to bed.” Council, which also meted out rewards and punishment. Despite Dad's forebodings, “I know you did, and you left the faucet dripping,” Fred told him. there were no ponies or roadsters. “Do you want to waste that perfectly good water?” One purchasing committee found a large department store which gave us wholesale “Why don’t you take a bath?” Jack asked. rates on everything from underwear to baseball gloves. Another bought canned goods “I take my baths in the morning. You know that. That’s the schedule.” Jack had two directly from a manufacturer, in truckload lots. baths that night. It was the Council, too, which worked out the system of submitting bids for unusual One day Dad came home with two victrolas and two stacks of records. He whistled jobs to be done. assembly as he hit the front steps, and we helped him unload. When Lili was eight, she submitted a bid of forty-seven cents to paint a long, high “Kids,” he said, “I have a wonderful surprise. Two victrolas and all these lovely fence in the back yard. Of course it was the lowest bid, and she got the job. records.” “She’s too young to try to paint that fence all by herself,” Mother told Dad. “Don’t let “But we have a victrola, Daddy.” her do it.” “I know that, but the victrola we have is the downstairs victrola. “Nonsense,” said Dad. “She’s got to learn the value of money and to keep agreements. Now we are going to have two upstairs victrolas. Won’t that be fun?” Let her alone.” “Why?” Lili, who was saving for a pair of roller skates and wanted the money, kept insisting “Well from now on,” said Dad, “we are going to try to do away with unavoidable she could do it. delay. The victrolas will go in the bathrooms—one in the boys’ bathroom and the other “If you start it, you’ll have to finish it,” Dad said. in the girls’ bathroom. I’ll bet we’ll be the only family in town with a victrola in every “I’ll finish it, Daddy. I know I can.” bath. And when you are taking a bath, or brushing your teeth, or otherwise occupied, “You’ve got yourself a contract, then.” you will play the victrolas.” It took Lili ten days to finish the job, working every day after school and all day week “Why?” ends. Her hands blistered, and some nights she was so tired she couldn’t sleep. It “Why, why, why,” mimicked Dad. “Why this and why that. worried Dad so that some nights he didn’t sleep very well either. But he made her live Does there have to be a why for everything?” up to her contract. “There doesn’t have to be, Daddy,” Ernestine explained patiently. “You’ve got to let her stop,” Mother kept telling him. “She’ll have a breakdown or “But with you there usually is. When you start talking about unavoidable delay and something—or else you will.” victrolas, dance music is not the first thing that pops into our minds.” “No,” said Dad. “She’s learning the value of money and she’s learning that when you “No,” Dad admitted. “It’s not dance music. But you’re going to find this is just as good start something it’s necessary to finish it if you want to collect. She’s got to finish. It’s in a way, and more educational.” in her contract.” “What kind of records are they?” Anne asked. “You sound like Shylock,” Mother said. “Well,” Dad said, “they are very entertaining. They are French and German language But Dad stood firm. lesson records. You don’t have to listen to them consciously. Just play them. And When Lili finally completed the job, she came to Dad in tears. they’ll finally make an impression.” “It’s done,” she said. “I hope you’re satisfied. Now can I have my forty-seven cents?” “Oh, no!” Dad counted out the change. Dad soon tired of diplomacy and psychology. FRANK BUNKER GILBRETH, Jr. CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN ~ CHAPTER 6 SCANNED BY THẨM TÂM VY, March 14th, 2020.
2. “Shut up and listen to me,” he roared. “I have spent one hundred and sixty dollars for That night. Dad moved the boys’ bathroom victrola into his bedroom, and we heard this equipment. Did I get it for myself? I most emphatically by jingo well did not. I him playing French records, far into the night. happen already to be able to speak German and French with such fluency that I At about the time that he brought home the victrolas, Dad became a consultant to the frequently am mistaken for a native of both of those countries.” Remington typewriter company and, through motion study methods, helped Remington This was at best a terribly gross exaggeration, for while Dad had studied languages for develop the world’s fastest typist. most of his adult life, he never had become very familiar with French, although he could He told us about it one night at dinner—how he had put little flashing lights on the stumble along fairly well in German. Usually he insisted that Mother accompany him as fingers of the ty^pist and taken moving pictures and time exposures to see just what an interpreter on his business trips to Europe. Languages came naturally to Mother. motions she employed and how those motions could be reduced. “No,” Dad continued, “I did not buy this expensive equipment for myself, although I “'Anyone can learn to type fast,” Dad concluded. “Why I've got a system that will must say I would like nothing better than to have my own private victrola and my own teach touch typing in two weeks. Absolutely guaranteed.” private language records. I bought it for you, as a present. And you are going to use it. If You could see the Great Experiment hatching in his mind. those two victrolas aren't going every morning from the minute you get up until you “In two weeks,” he repeated. “Why I could even teach a child to type touch system in come down to breakfast, I'm going to know the reason why." two weeks.” “One reason," said Bill, “might be that it is impossible to change records while you are “Can you type touch system, Daddy?” Bill asked. in the bathtub." “In two weeks,” said Dad. “I could teach a child. Anybody can do it if he will do just “A person who applies motion study can be in and out of the tub in the time it takes exactly what I tell him to do.” one record to play." The next day he brought home a new, perfectly white typewriter, a gold knife, and an That was perfectly true. Dad would sit in the tub and put the soap in his right hand. Ingersoll watch. He unwrapped them and put them on the dining room table. Then he'd place his right hand on his left shoulder and run it down the top of his left “Can I try the typewriter, Daddy?” asked Mart. arm, back up the bottom of his left arm to his armpit, down his side, down the outside of “Why is the typewriter white?” Anne wanted to know. “All typewriters I’ve ever seen his left leg, and then up the inside of his left leg. Then he'd change the soap to his left were black. It’s beautiful, all right, but why is it white?” hand and do the same thing to his right side. After a couple of circular strokes on his “It’s white so that it will photograph better,” Dad explained. midsection and his back, and some special attention to his feet and face, he’d duck “Also, for some reason, anyone who sees a white typewriter wants to type on it. Don’t under for a rinse and get out. He had all the boys in the bathroom several times to ask me why. It’s psychology.” demonstrate just how he did it, and he sat in the middle of the living room rug one day, All of us wanted to use it, but Dad wouldn’t let anyone touch it but himself. with all his clothes on, to teach the girls. “This is an optional experiment,” he said. “I believe I can teach the touch system in So there was no more unavoidable delay in the bathroom, and it wasn’t long before we two weeks. Anyone who wants to learn xsrill be able to practice on the white machine. were all speaking at least a pidgin variety of French and German. For ten years, the The one who can type the fastest at the end of two weeks will receive the typewriter as a victrolas ground out their lessons on the second floor of our Montclair house. As we present. The knife and watch will be prizes awarded on a handicap basis, taking age into became fairly fluent, we often would speak the languages at the dinner table. Dad was consideration.” left out of the conversation when then talk was in French. Except for the two youngest, who still weren’t talking, we all said we wanted to learn. “Your German accents are not so bad," he said. “I can understand most of what you “Can I practice first. Daddy?” Lili asked. say when you talk German. But your French accents are so atrocious that no one but “No one practices until I say ‘practice’. Now first I will show you how the typewriter yourselves could possibly understand you. I believe you've developed some exotic works.” Dad got a sheet of paper. 'The paper goes in here. You turn this—so-oo. And language all your own. which has no more relation to French than it does to Pig Latin.” you push the carriage over to the end of the line—like this. We giggled, and he turned furiously to Mother. And Dad, using two fingers, hesitatingly pecked out the first thing that came to his “Don’t you think so, Lillie?” mind—his name. “Well, dear,” she said. “I don’t think anyone would mistake them for natives of France, “Is that the touch system, Daddy?" Bill asked. but I can usually make out what they’re getting at.” “No," said Dad. “I’ll show you the touch system in a little while." “That,” said Dad, with some dignity, “is because you learned your French in this “Do you know the touch system, Daddy?" country, where everybody talks with an accent, whereas my knowledge of the language “Let’s say I know how to teach it, Billy boy." came straight from the streets of Paris.” “But do you know it yourself, Daddy?" “Maybe so, dear.” said Mother. “Maybe so.” FRANK BUNKER GILBRETH, Jr. CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN ~ CHAPTER 6 SCANNED BY THẨM TÂM VY, March 14th, 2020.
3. “I know how to teach it," Dad shouted. “In two weeks, I can teach it to a child. Do “Stop it Daddy. That hurts. I can't concentrate knowing that that pencil's about to you hear me? I have just finished helping to develop the fastest typist in the world. Do descend on my head." you hear that? They tell me Caruso’s voice teacher can’t sing a by jingoed note. Does “It's meant to hurt. Your head has to teach your fingers not to make mistakes." that answer your question?" Ern typed along. About every fifth word, she'd make a mistake and the pencil would “I guess so," said Bill. descend with a bong. But the bongs became less and less frequent and finally Dad put “Any other questions?" away the pencil. There weren’t. Dad then brought out some paper diagrams of a typewriter keyboard, “That’s fine, Ernie," he said. “I believe I'll keep you." and passed one to each of us. By the end of the two weeks, all children over six years old and Mother knew the “The first thing you have to do is to memorize that keyboard. QWERTYUIOP. Those touch system reasonably well. Dad said he knew it, too. We were a long way from being are the letters in the top line. Memorize them. Get to know them forward and fast—because nothing but practice gives speed—but we were reasonably accurate. Dad backwards. Get to know ; them so you can say them with your eyes closed. Like this." entered Ernestine’s name in a national speed contest, as a sort of child prodigy, but Dad closed his right eye, but kept his left open just a slit so ' that he could still read the Mother talked him out of it and Ern never actually competed. chart. “It’s not that I want to show her off," he told Mother. “It’s just that I want to do the “QWERTYUIOP. See what I mean? Get to know them in your sleep. That’s the first people a favor—to show them what can be done with proper instructional methods and step." motion study." We looked crestfallen. “I don't think it would be too good an idea, dear," Mother said. “I know. You want to tty out that white typewriter. Pretty, isn’t it?" “Ernestine is high strung, and the children are conceited enough as it is.” He clicked a few keys. Dad compromised by taking moving pictures of each of us, first with colored fingers “Runs as smoothly as a watch, doesn’t it?" practicing on the paper diagrams and then actually working on the typewriter. He said We said it did. the pictures were “for my files," but about a month later they were released in a “Well, tomorrow or the next day you’ll be using it. First you have to memorize the newsreel, which showed everything except the pencil descending on our heads. And keyboard. Then you’ve got to learn what fingers to use. Then you’ll graduate to Moby some of us today recoil every time we touch the backspace key. Since Dad thought Dick here. And one of you will win him.” eating was a form of unavoidable delay, he utilized the dinner hour as an instruction Once we had memorized the keyboard, our fingers were colored with chalk. The little period. His primary rule was that no one could talk unless the subject was of general fingers were colored blue, the index fingers red and so forth. Corresponding colors were interest. placed on the key zones of the diagrams. For instance, the O, A and Z, all of which are Dad was the one who decided what subjects were of general interest. Since he was hit with the little finger of the left hand, were colored blue to match the blue little finger. convinced that everything he uttered was interesting, the rest of the family had trouble “All you have to do now is practice until each finger has learned the right color habit,” getting a word in edgewise. Dad said. “And once you’ve got that, we’ll be ready to start.” “Honestly, we have the stupidest boy in our history class,” Anne would begin. In two days we were fairly adept at matching the colors on our fingers with the colors “Is he cute?” Ernestine asked. on the keyboard diagrams. Ernestine was the fastest, and got the first chance to sit down “Not of general interest,” Dad roared. at the white typewriter. She hitched her chair up to it confidently, while we all gathered “I’m interested,” Mart said. around. “But I,” Dad announced, “am bored stiff. Now if Anne had seen a two-headed boy in “Hey, no fair, Daddy,” she wailed. “You’ve put blank caps on all the keys. I can’t see history class, that would have been of general interest.” what I’m typing.” Usually at the start of a meal, while Mother served up the plates at one end of the table, Blank caps are fairly common now, but Dad had thought up the idea and had had them Dad sewed up the day's topic of conversation at the other end. made specially by the Remington company. “I met an engineer today who had just returned from India,” he said. “What do you “You don’t have to see,” Dad said. “Just imagine that those keys are colored, and type think he told me? He believes India has fewer industries for its size than has any other just like you were typing on the diagram.” country in the world.” Ern started slowly, and then picked up speed, as her fingers jumped instinctively from We knew, then, that for the duration of that particular meal even the dullest facts about key to key. Dad stood in back of her, with a pencil in one hand and a diagram in the India would be deemed of exceptional general interest; whereas neighboring Siam, other. Every time she made a mistake, he brought the pencil down on the top of her Persia, China, and Mongolia would, for some reason, be considered of but slight general head. interest, and events which had transpired in Montclair, FRANK BUNKER GILBRETH, Jr. CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN ~ CHAPTER 6 SCANNED BY THẨM TÂM VY, March 14th, 2020.
4. New Jersey, would be deemed of no interest whatsoever. Once India had been selected “Right. Good girl, Martha.” as the destination, Dad would head toward it as relentlessly as if Garcia were waiting Dan was five when this was going on, and Jack was three. One night at supper, Dad there, and we had the message. was firing questions at Dan on the squares of numbers up to twenty-five. This involved Sometimes, the topic of conversation was a motion study project, such as clearing off straight memory, and no mental arithmetic. the dishes from the table. Motion study was always of great general interest. “Fifteen times fifteen,” said Dad. “Is it better to stack the dishes on the table, so that you can carry out a big pile?” Dad “Two twenty-five,” said Dan. asked. “Or is it better to take a few of them at a time into the butler’s pantry, where you “Sixteen times sixteen,” said Dad. can rinse them while you stack? After dinner we’ll divide the table into two parts, and Jack, sitting in his high chair next to Mother, gave the answer. “Two fifty-six.’’ try one method on one part and the other method on the other. I’ll time you.” At first Dad was irritated, because he thought one of the older children was butting in. Also of exceptional general interest was a series of tricks whereby Dad could multiply “I'm asking Dan,” he said, “you older children stop showing off and ” Then he large numbers in his head, without using pencil and paper. The explanation of how the registered a double take. tricks are worked is too complicated to explain in detail here, and two fairly elementary “What did you say, Jackie boy?” Dad cooed. examples should suffice. “Two fifty-six.” 1. To multiply forty-six times forty-six, you figure how much greater forty-six is than Dad drew a nickel out of his pocket and grew very serious. twenty-five. The answer is twenty-one. Then you figure how much less forty-six is than “Have you been memorizing the squares as I asked the questions to the older children, fifty. Tire answer is four. You can square the four and get sixteen. You put the twenty- Jackie?” one and the sixteen together, and the answer is twentyone sixteen, or 2,116. Jack didn't know whether that was good or bad, but he nodded. 2. To multiply forty-four times forty-four, you figure how much greater forty-four is “If you can tell me what seventeen times seventeen is, Jackie boy, this nickel is yours.” than twenty-five. The answer is nineteen. Then you figure how much less forty-four is “Sure, Daddy,” said Jack. “Two eighty-nine.” than fifty. The answer is six. You square the six and get thirty-six. You put the nineteen Dad passed him the nickel and turned beaming to Mother. and the thirty-six together, and the answer is nineteen thirty-six, or 1,936. “Lillie,'’ he said, “we'd better keep that boy, too.” “I want to teach all of you how to multiply two-digit numbers in your head,” Dad * announced at dinner. * * “Not of general interest,” said Anne. Martha, at eleven, became the fastest in the family at mental mathematics. Still feeling “Now if you had learned to multiply a two-digit number by a two-headed calf/’ Ern frustrated because he hadn't been able to take Ernestine to the speed typing contest. Dad suggested. insisted on taking Martha to an adding machine exhibition in New York. “Those who do not think it is of general interest may leave the table and go to their “No, Lillie," he told Mother. “This one is not high strung. I was willing to compromise rooms/’ Dad said coldly, “and I understand there is apple pie for dessert.” on moving pictures of the typing, but you can't take movies of this. She goes to New Nobody left. York with me.” “Since everyone now appears to be interested,” said Dad, “I will explain how it’s Martha stood up on a platform at the adding machine show, and answered the done.” problems quicker than the calculators could operate. Dad, of course, stood along side It was a complicated thing for children to understand, and it involved memorizing the her. After the final applause, he told the assemblage modestly: squares of all numbers up to twenty-five. “There's really nothing to it. I've got a boy named Jack at home who’s almost as good But Dad took it slowly, and within a couple of months the older children had learned as she is. I would have brought him here with me, but Mrs. Gilbreth said he’s still too all the tricks involved. young. Maybe next year, when he’s four ” While Mother carved and served the plates—Dad sometimes carved wood for a hobby, By this time, all of us had begun to suspect that Dad had his points as a teacher, and but he never touched a carving knife at the table—Dad would shout out problems in that he knew what he was talking about. There was one time, though, when he failed. mental arithmetic for us. "Tomorrow,” he told us at dinner, "I’m going to make a cement bird bath. All those “Nineteen times seventeen.” who want to watch me should come home right after school, and we’ll make it in the “Three twenty-three.” late afternoon.” “Right. Good boy, Bill.” Dad had long since given up general contracting, to devote all of his time to scientific “Fifty-two times fifty-two.” management and motion study, but we knew he had been an expert bricklayer and had “Twenty-seven zero four.” written a book on reinforced concrete. FRANK BUNKER GILBRETH, Jr. CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN ~ CHAPTER 6 SCANNED BY THẨM TÂM VY, March 14th, 2020.
5. The next afternoon he built a mold, mixed his concrete confidently, and poured his - Shylock: a merciless usurer (from Shakepeare’s plays) [tên cho vay nặng lãi] bird bath. - victrola: the brand of a gramophone "We’ll let it set for awhile, and then take the mold off,” he said. Dad had to go out of - Remington typewriter; máy đámh chữ, thương hiệu nổi tiếng thời đó town for a few weeks. When he returned, he changed into old clothes, whistled - Ingersoll watch: assembly, and led us out into nthe yard. - Caruso: name of a singer whose voice was lost in an accident. By practice, he gained "I’ve had this bird bath on my mind all the time I was away,” he said. "It should be back his original voice. good and hard now.” "Will the birds come and take a bath in it, Daddy?” Fred asked. "I would say, Freddy, that birds wall come for miles to take a bath in it. Indeed, on Saturday nights I wrould say the birds will be standing in line to use our lovely bathtub.” He leaned over the mold. "Stand back, everybody,” he said. "We will now unveil the masterpiece. Get your towels ready, little birdies, it’s almost bathing time.” We stood hushed and waiting. But as he lifted the bird bath out of the mold, there was was an unelievable grating sound, and a pile of dust and rubble lay at our feet. Dad stood deflated and silent. He took it so seriously that we felt sorry for him. “Never mind, Daddy,” Lili said. “We know you tried, anyway.” “Bill,” Dad said sternly. “Did you?” “Did I what, Daddy?” “Did you touch my bird bath?” “No, Daddy, honest.” Dad reached down and picked up some of the concrete. It crumbled into dust between his fingers. “Too much sand,” he muttered. And then to Bill. “No, it’s my fault. Too much sand. I know you didn’t touch it, and I’m sorry I implied that you did.” But you couldn’t keep Dad down for long. “Well,” he said, “that didn’t work out so very well. But I’ve built some of the finest and tallest buildings in the whole world. And some bridges and roads and canals that stretch for miles and miles.” “Is a bird bath harder to build than a tall building, Daddy?” asked Dan. Dad, deflated all over again, kicked the rubble with his toe and started toward the house. “Too much sand,” he muttered. - to levy: thu thuế - forebodings: lời báo trước - roadsters: two-seat small car - to blister: phồng giộp - crestfallen: cụt hứng FRANK BUNKER GILBRETH, Jr. CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN ~ CHAPTER 6 SCANNED BY THẨM TÂM VY, March 14th, 2020.